|
So I was reading Senator Sam Brownback’s website to assess
his views on foreign policy and I read that Iran is likely to have nuclear
weapons by 2005. After saying a quick prayer of thanks that that’s still far in
the future, I realized it’s been a long time since a post.
Some of you may have, quite sensibly, questioned the
justification for the fact that I have all but stopped posting this school
year. By way of explanation I will simply say that I’ve been incredibly busy –
reading, studying, attending class, and doing a lot of research both for school
as well as for my own personal enrichment. And the result of this intensive
academic experience is this realization:
“The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia,” is the most badass song
ever. Seriously. It’s about a guy who finds out his wife has been sleeping with
his best friend. He then gets his gun and heads to his friend’s house
(presumably to kill him), but when he arrives, his friend is already lying dead
on the floor. He then gets framed for the crime by a corrupt legal system. I
won’t ruin the end for you, but the last verse is potentially the greatest set
of words ever put to song.
And don’t waste your time with the crappy 70’s pop version
by Vicki Lawrence mentioned in Reservoir
Dogs. Man up and listen to Reba.
I’ve also discovered various other truths during my de facto
sabbatical:
- Kevin and I are
simply better than everyone else at debating U.S. hegemony, politics scenarios,
and business confidence. Seriously, we debated this team from Northern
Arizona (ranked #10 in the nation apparently), and they’re like,
“We knew you would run heg, but we weren’t gonna run heg bad – we knew you’d
have like 16 answers to it.” Keep in mind I’ve never seen these girls before,
but our reputation as heg debaters is so salient they aren’t even willing to
run a disadvantage to it. That is bad ass.
- Ice rules when it’s so thick on your hood that it is
physically impossible for people to put parking tickets under your windshield
wipers.
- Elves aren’t that
cool. Yeah, I get the appeal – they’re mystical and noble and handsome archers
of the forest, blah, blah, blah. Only you and 200 million other fantasy fans
have ever thought of that. God forbid you would ever think a gnome was cool –
they’re short and ugly! Apparently fantasy nerds and 12 year old girls have a
lot more in common than they realized.
- Take your corndogs home with you for break. Your roommates
cannot be trusted.
- “Dance with the
Devil,” by Immortal Technique is the only rap song that literally depresses me. I’m not kidding. It’s an
amazing song, but don’t listen to it if (serious) graphic violent content
bothers you.
- Surrender, but don’t give yourself away. (On a related
note: Mommy’s alright, Daddy’s alright.)
- As Jeremy puts it, “Lyin’ Eyes” is better than “Lipstick
on Your Collar” because it’s “by the Eagles and not some sucky woman.”
- And finally: Life
is not tried – it is merely survived – when you’re standing outside the fire.
And now a drawing for those with short attention spans:
- scoot
| 
